Have you ever walked into a conversation already knowing how it was going to end?
Perhaps you were preparing for a difficult discussion with a colleague, giving feedback to an employee, or meeting with your manager. Before anyone had spoken a word, your mind had already created the story.
“They won’t understand.”
“This isn’t going to go well.”
“I’ll probably have to defend myself.”
The mindset we bring into a conversation influences our energy, how we communicate, and what we are able to hear.
When we enter a discussion expecting conflict, we’re more likely to listen for evidence that confirms our expectations. We are listening to respond instead of listening to learn.
One of the things I emphasize with leaders is intentional listening.
Intentional listening means choosing curiosity over assumption. It means seeking to understand another person’s perspective before deciding how to respond.
There are 3 powerful words that can change the direction of a conversation: Tell. Me. More. These words create an open environment and shows interest in understanding the person’s perspective.
This becomes even more important when we recognize that we are all wired differently. Each of us communicates, processes information, solves problems, and makes decisions in our own unique way. This shapes our perspective.
Understanding these differences isn’t about changing who we are. It’s about learning how to meet people where they are so we can find common ground for connection and collaborate more effectively.
That’s why collaboration has become such a central part of my work. The best ideas, the strongest teams, and the healthiest workplace cultures are built when people bring different strengths together toward a shared purpose.
Recently, I had the opportunity to connect with Intuitive Voice Coach Aideen Ní Riada, and our conversation reinforced something I have believed for years: communication is both practical and personal.
While I help people develop communication techniques, leadership skills, and collaborative cultures, Aideen helps people discover how to quiet the internal tension that often prevents those strategies from being used effectively. Together will be combining practical leadership communication with innovative approaches to voice, presence, and authentic influence in an upcoming collaboration.
Healthy communication creates stronger relationships, better performance conversations, increased engagement, and cultures where people feel heard and valued enough to stay.
Whether you’re leading a team, building a business, or simply looking to improve your relationships at work, pause and ask yourself this question before your next important conversation: “What mindset am I bringing into this room?”
Because communication doesn’t begin when we speak.
It begins with how we choose to show up.
